I can't think of the tittle

Today when I was sitting on the swing set, I looked up to the sky and thought of the good old days where we use to have fun and just play around....
We never really had anything to bother, we played like it was nobody's Bussiness. 
But now, can I still do that? 
I really missed that time when we were still young and dumb, and we think that everyone else was dumb. But the dumb one was actually us...
I really missed that time when we were just fooling around, just trying to be a kid..
I saw kids running around and looked at myself I wish I could go back where all I have to do was play and not take things seriously. 
I wished that everything would just be as easy as 1+1=2 and not some x+y=3.
Where did those time went?
When did everything became so complicated? 
Did I just missed a part where everyone just turned into a bitch and started falling in love?
Last time I thought that if youn sat next to a boy, it means that you are his girl friend..
But now, even if you went to a movie with one you still are not his...is the world changing or the people around me changing?
Maybe it's time for me to change too..
there will always be someone around to make your life difficult.
Adults say:' this is liFe, u'll meet moRe later.'
I don't wanna meet fuckiN bitches!
I just wanna be a kid and fool aroUnd.
I looked up to the clouds and they were floating away, just like my cheerful times.
I used to be a very happy kid.
But now I can't be happy when I want to and I have to fake a smile infront of those bitches when all you want to do is cry and punch them hard in the face.
You have to fake that you like them when you really want them to burn and die.
You have to really think before you speak,or someone else might be listening.
You have to do this and that, and everyone's expectation is so damn high.
You start to have loads of fucking pressure on you.
Sometimes you can't be too kind, you'll be used.
But you can't be to cruel, they'll say you're heartless.
I really hate this world!
I really don't know how to handle this fucked up world, all I want is my childhood and those happiness.
All I'm feeling now is just hatred and sadness.
There are happiness but just not enough to cover those hatred and sadness.
All I can do is just to pushed them deep down.
I know everyone has their problems, but I really don't know how long I can hold.
If i can ill try to hold on.
I wish that one day when I wake up, I'll still be sleeping in a baby cot.
And This was actually one long nightmare . I am actually still a new born baby that doesn't know anything about this ugly world.
Just now when I got hit in the head reall hard, I wanted to sliced his fingers one by one and throw them into a bottle of sulphur lock him up in a box but leave his head up to see the mice slowly chewing his intestine and body and let his blood drip out.
But all I could do is just to sweep everything to the floor.
I can't do anything but to just forgive and forget.
All I can do is just to bottle up loads and loads of hatred and sadness and angryness.
People say if you keep it in for too long you'll get problems, but if I let it all out Ill get problems now.

复杂化

世界很复杂，
其实复杂的是社会，
社会并不复杂，
复杂的事人，
人其实也不复杂，
是思想复杂。
其实思想并不是复杂，
只是太多种不同的想法。
而我们没有读心术。
到处都有的买这种书，
也是为什么会有心理医生。
有时心理医生也未必了解你。
有时连自己都未必了解自己。

能找到一堆与你同样智障的朋友是很难的。
好朋友是不会批评你的外表的
好朋友是会和你一起批评别人，
在你背后支持你，
而不是在你背后插一把刀的人。

有时你会觉得他们不能体谅你。
你会觉得他们做的东西很笨。
有时当他们不告诉你某些事时，
你会想他们到底是否把你当好朋友
还是只是你自己认为罢了。
有时你甚至会怀疑你有没有交错朋友。

有些事情并不是那么容易说出来的。
有可能怕伤害到你，有可能是不想麻烦你，也有可能不想让你觉得我烦。
就算真的鼓起勇气说出来了，
你能不能接受得到？
你会不会帮我？

可是你想看，
说是朋友，
朋友也有自己的底线，自己的尊严。
朋友也有自己的事情，自己的问题。
有时不说出来也是好事。
可是说出来也有可能是好事。

自己烦就好。
何必烦埋别人？
你以为自己就很忙，很烦。
别人就很得空听你的问题？

看到这里你们别误会
我的朋友有问题我还是一定会帮的！

HEY BITCH! GUESS WHAT?!

I once hated bitches.
i think that they are cruel and slutty and bitchy
some even a whore!!
there are many kinds of bitch around...
normal usual kind,
slutty whore,
stupid bitch,
brainless bitch,
and the worst kind of bitch in the worst kind of bitch history!!
the smart bitch....

i swore that i wont be a bitch myself!
cause i hated them.
but then i realized that
only you be a bitch or else you'll be the one suffering.
the world changes us,
or people around us changes us,
they make us think more about our-self...
after a while,
i started turning into a heartless bitch.....
you will be one someday...
it's more fun being the bad guy,
even if you get caught in the end.....
if you dont get caught, that means you are good in this game....

you could say i'm irresponsible...
but i hate that word even though its the truth.....
by being a heartless bitch, you wont get broken hearted...
i guess i'm selfish, 
but not everything has a win win situation...
i'd rather i win!
who doesnt want to win??? 

i could only say i'm sorry.
for breaking your heart...
but, time mends everything...
just think about it as you've learnt a valuable lesson from me...
and the price is a broken heart.....
it's a very cheap price for such an expensive course......

in conclusion....
heartless bitch = no heart break
heart broken = a lesson learnt