Tuesday, August 16, 2016

I did not see that coming

Monday 17/8/16

3:00pm

Its another day of boring lectures, I have arrived at the university earlier to finish my assignments and some weekly quizzes and also to do some last minute preparations for the lectures later. It has been a long day with assignments. It was my first year, and I was still struggling with citations and referencing, the lecturers here are very anal about this shit. All the assignments were 5 pages long, about 5000 words. I was almost suffocating. 

I was sitting in the lecture hall, the lecturer keeps going on and on and on, from time to time she keeps reminding us of our shit pile of assignments and our due date. I was like 'calm the fuck down please, the dateline was October and its only August'. I could hear groans from the back of the hall and people leaving. 

Well thank goodness that after all this I am looking forward to the second meeting of the Drama club. I wonder what games were we gonna play. It was a part time hobby which could take my mind off of assignments. Although Drama was a very time consuming hobby and it takes commitment if I were to take it seriously. But all I wanted was something to take my mind off assignments and any other problems I was having. Because in Drama Club, nobody knew who I was and nobody knew who my friends were. It was a new place where I could just relax before I start hating people in there. 


6:00pm

I strolled out of the lecture hall, the sky was getting darker. It seemed like I have spent an eternity in the lecture hall. The last time I saw the sun was after my lunch break and since then I had to bid farewell to the warm sun. The night welcomed me with a light breeze in my face, it felt refreshing but my face was already numbed in the freezing lecture hall. I walked towards the stairs leading to the basement while waving goodbye to some friends going the different direction. I walked down the stairs and into our meeting place. It seemed like a very secretive place where an unofficial gathering of secret society would be held.

But surprisingly it was quite noisy at the basement. I passed by The Christian Association and i lightly scoffed, I heard hymns blasting through the pathetic computer speaker trying to be metal or rock music. It seems like it was their first meeting and they were welcoming the newbies. I reached the lecture hall 6003, I saw two guys I met during the first meeting and I sat 2 seats away from them. So that I could face them when I wanted to talk to them and turn the other way when I don't want to talk to them. We chatted awhile, they were asking about the grouping up for our upcoming performance and I agreed that we could form a group, what could go wrong a group with Chinese, Russian and Sri Lankan. Just as we were talking two other people sat behind us, well might as well talk to them since the dude behind me sounds like he knows what he is doing. I turned around and said Hi, well he was friendly, but the other dude not wearing a cap beside him was in his own little world staring at god knows what, he glanced at me for a second and continued staring at something. 

The meeting started and we were distributed to different groups. I was in the same group as the friendly dude wearing a cap. I have to admit that the games they played was a bit immature and stupid, it doesn't really serve any purpose in Drama/ Theater training. Well all of them are not professionals like the trainers we got back in high school. Nonetheless I still went with it. Finally the game was over and i was sitting at the last row talking to the Cap dude about grouping up. He suggested that we could form our own group I agreed but I told him I have friends joining us and he was cool with it and said if I was ok with his friend joining or not. I had no preference and our group needed team members. While people were moving to their own groups I was having a texting war. I got pissed and decided to not reply anymore, I decided the something much more interesting is happening here anyway. 

Soon we were discussing about what genres we were gonna perform and weird ideas came out. I was hoping not romance because if I were the audience I would fall asleep. Well in the end it was sorta not romance genre but I sure did put in more commitment than I ever intended to. I gained something else which made all the commitment that I put in worthwhile and I cannot be more pleased with the outcome. Not just our performance but every other thing. The process to the final performance was one of a kind, not like any other rehearsals I've had and of course the result had a huge impact till today. (No, it's not the Cap dude, it was his friend who at first just only took a glance at me.)

unique but not rare

Have you ever thought that we are all different? and sometimes you just don't find anyone who shares the same things with you? in some aspects both of you are totally the same, but sometimes you will just feel that you don't really know that person at all. 
Then there are times where you just feel like you can't or don't feel that you fit in to anywhere. 
No matter which group of friends you mix with, you just don't really belong?
When you tell anyone that, they will just say that everyone is unique in their way.
this makes us feel better, to know that we are unique that's why we can't fit with some people.
this makes us feel special, that no one is another copy of us, or not exact copy.
but in actual fact, everyone is unique. just not RARE.

don't be too happy when they say that you are unique.
because if you wanna feel special, you have to be rare.
truth is, everyone is unique. so it really doesn't make a difference if you are unique in your way.

i have always been thinking that all of us are the same.
we end up the same - dead.
we start the same - sperm finds egg and boom! u start of with an asshole...
our lives are the same just a slight difference in your family financial status and background.
poor - work when younger
rich - work when older.
we have to face the same thing sooner or later. we gain the same experience sooner or later.

no one is truly unique, i have always felt this way.
but i just didn't know how to properly convey the message.
everyone keeps telling me how we are all special and unique.
but now i understand, to be truly special you should be rare.
being unique is just not enough.

how do you consider as being rare?
Smart people fill the streets, be the smartest, Hopkins is rare, not just because of the disease and the fact that he founded some theory.
Dont worry that only famous people are rare.
dumb people fill the streets, be the dumbest. nobody have done it so i have no examples. 
Rare is a very difficult level to achieve, you could be rare but you might be so rare that no one has ever seen people as rare as you and they might be afraid of you.
they might distant themselves from you, they might call you weird, they might say you are stupid.

Unique is not rare,
Unique doesn't mean useful,
Unique doesn't mean new.