I can't think of the tittle

Today when I was sitting on the swing set, I looked up to the sky and thought of the good old days where we use to have fun and just play around....
We never really had anything to bother, we played like it was nobody's Bussiness. 
But now, can I still do that? 
I really missed that time when we were still young and dumb, and we think that everyone else was dumb. But the dumb one was actually us...
I really missed that time when we were just fooling around, just trying to be a kid..
I saw kids running around and looked at myself I wish I could go back where all I have to do was play and not take things seriously. 
I wished that everything would just be as easy as 1+1=2 and not some x+y=3.
Where did those time went?
When did everything became so complicated? 
Did I just missed a part where everyone just turned into a bitch and started falling in love?
Last time I thought that if youn sat next to a boy, it means that you are his girl friend..
But now, even if you went to a movie with one you still are not his...is the world changing or the people around me changing?
Maybe it's time for me to change too..
there will always be someone around to make your life difficult.
Adults say:' this is liFe, u'll meet moRe later.'
I don't wanna meet fuckiN bitches!
I just wanna be a kid and fool aroUnd.
I looked up to the clouds and they were floating away, just like my cheerful times.
I used to be a very happy kid.
But now I can't be happy when I want to and I have to fake a smile infront of those bitches when all you want to do is cry and punch them hard in the face.
You have to fake that you like them when you really want them to burn and die.
You have to really think before you speak,or someone else might be listening.
You have to do this and that, and everyone's expectation is so damn high.
You start to have loads of fucking pressure on you.
Sometimes you can't be too kind, you'll be used.
But you can't be to cruel, they'll say you're heartless.
I really hate this world!
I really don't know how to handle this fucked up world, all I want is my childhood and those happiness.
All I'm feeling now is just hatred and sadness.
There are happiness but just not enough to cover those hatred and sadness.
All I can do is just to pushed them deep down.
I know everyone has their problems, but I really don't know how long I can hold.
If i can ill try to hold on.
I wish that one day when I wake up, I'll still be sleeping in a baby cot.
And This was actually one long nightmare . I am actually still a new born baby that doesn't know anything about this ugly world.
Just now when I got hit in the head reall hard, I wanted to sliced his fingers one by one and throw them into a bottle of sulphur lock him up in a box but leave his head up to see the mice slowly chewing his intestine and body and let his blood drip out.
But all I could do is just to sweep everything to the floor.
I can't do anything but to just forgive and forget.
All I can do is just to bottle up loads and loads of hatred and sadness and angryness.
People say if you keep it in for too long you'll get problems, but if I let it all out Ill get problems now.