Monday, September 23, 2013

Something I call friendship

Do you ever get that feeling,
That you are always the one who care for other people
And they don't appreciate it.
I'm tired of it!
I'm tired to be to the one who's always thinking bout other people.
I'm tired to be the one who has to care about others feeling.
I'm tired to be the one who has to clean up your shit.
Who's gonna think about me?
Who's gonna care bout my feeling?

Who's gonna help me?


I wonder
Will the sun get tired bout 
he's the one always providing us warmth
And yet you ungrateful people say its fucking hot.
I wonder
Will the sun shut down totally one day
And leave us ungrateful beast to chill to death?
Tell me!
Who the fuck is gonna care bout my fucking feelings!
When you have a problem,
I gotta deal with it.
You said you don't like me doing this,
I don't do it. I stop doing it.
But now,
You still say its not enough?
What the fuck do you want me do now?

I've had enough of caring your feelings.
I am your freaking friend for gods sake.

Now what?
After I deal with your fucking problem and your feeling,
You ran off feeling fine as fuck
And leave me feeling like a piece of shit?

What kind of a fucking friend are you?

Stupid fuctards!

I'm sick of it!
From now on,
 I JOY LIM WILL NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANY FCUKING THING WHICH DO NOT INVOVLES ME.
I WON'T FUCKING CARE BOUT YOUR FUCKING FEELINGS

B

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Fucked up

I don't know what I'm feeling right now...
It's a mix of anger, a hint of happiness,  a sprinkle of excitement..
And a dash of sadness...
I'm not complicated... But I don't know what am I.....
I don't wanna be a regular kid.....
But I don't want complicated things...
People's mind are complicated, the things they think, and words they say and understand.
They are people who twist your words on purpose and ignore you for what they misunderstood....
The they'll come around and say : I thought you were my friend....
Well if you treat me as a friend, you would have come to me bout the problem you had with me.
And not go round telling other people bout it....
If they can solve our problem,
They can create one...
If you don't have the courage to talk to me bout our problems,
Don't say that we're friends.. Some kind of a friend you are....

Like I said,
I would do anything for my friend , as long as it does not cost my life.
I would totally be nice to you in a bad way....
But If u don't understand it, too bad.....
Guess we're not meant to be...

I have always imagined a world,
 That everyone was pure and not so complicated....
I blame the Internet sometimes......
Wen I was young, I was taught to tell the truth and not lie....
But now, I am taught that I should not put my real info on the net.....
I can't imagine educating a kid in another few years time....
What would it be?
When I was young, people actually interact...
Now, even though I wish you happy birthday on Facebook, but I still don't know you.

Because of the net (partly),
People are getting more coward...
They are afraid to face the real world and the truth....
I hate facing the truth...but It's the truth, you gotta live with it....
I can't say that I'm getting better at acting....
Because I stink at it... If I don't like you, I don't give a fuck bout you....
I just learn to stay as far as possible....
Where there are interactions, there are miscommunication.

When Things get old, people get bored, wishes get fulfilled, targets are achieved,
It's that time when you think that life's nothing but a piece of dried pizza....
It's not tasty anymore, but it'll be a waste to throw it out....
It's time to add some new toppings to it....
New target, new surrounding, new excitement and stuffs.....
I hope I can get trough it.....
I think I'm gonna be ok....



Monday, August 26, 2013

hold on!

I'm not too shy to show I love you.
I got no regret.
So if you are ready just come and get me.
but take note I won't wait for you forever.

no matter how much you say you love some one.
but you know you won't wait for them for your whole life.
you'll soon forget about her when you meet someone who loves you.

i love it when I know that I'm your whole world.
but when you start moving on, I hate it.
I just want to ask you a question,
why did you broke up with me? then you want me back?
well if you don't answer me it's ok.

but just to let you know, 
when you left me there to bleed
then you stick a knife back in to stop bleeding.
i met a better person.
but i know that nothing will last.

i'm just gonna cherish everything.
before some asshole comes around and ruin everything.
so fuck you, who said that you'll do anything for me.


Wednesday, August 14, 2013

tired of being left out

i was supposed to be in a camp for 4 days, but i cant stand it anymore.
my head hurts like a thousand of marching band inside my head.
my arms ache like i'm carrying thousands of stone.
and the first night i think i encounter paranormal activity.
i was really freaked out.
so the next day i left, because i cant take it anymore.
just for the record i hate that teacher.

i saw my old friends there.
but it's just sad that we have became strangers.
we used to hang out together.
go swimming and have a drink.
but now it's just sad that all we have was gone.
looks like we've all grown up and have our own life...
we walked passed each other like strangers on the street.
not even a smile or a glance was exchange.
she was chatting with her friends,
and i was busy updating my facebook status.
that very awkward yet strange feeling.
any way just really sad about it.

i was really looking forward to this camp.
i also met my ex...
and he is still cute, girls still buzz around him like bees and honey...
well to think that i was once a bee around him too.
but now, i've grown wiser.
i sent him a message and i wish he'd reply.
but you know, the higher you get your hopes up, the bigger the disappointment will be.
i'm trying to act like nothing happened though.
guess i'm not very wise to do that....

that's all about the camp.
tomorrow i'm going to a coffee house to meet an old friend.
she's flying in from Paris and we're meeting up.
i don't know how long this friendship will last.
even friends who have known each other for the whole life end up being strangers.
that is sad.....

well,
i'll cherish the time we have together while it still last.



Wednesday, July 17, 2013

I can't think of the tittle

Today when I was sitting on the swing set, I looked up to the sky and thought of the good old days where we use to have fun and just play around....
We never really had anything to bother, we played like it was nobody's Bussiness. 
But now, can I still do that? 
I really missed that time when we were still young and dumb, and we think that everyone else was dumb. But the dumb one was actually us...
I really missed that time when we were just fooling around, just trying to be a kid..
I saw kids running around and looked at myself I wish I could go back where all I have to do was play and not take things seriously. 
I wished that everything would just be as easy as 1+1=2 and not some x+y=3.
Where did those time went?
When did everything became so complicated? 
Did I just missed a part where everyone just turned into a bitch and started falling in love?
Last time I thought that if youn sat next to a boy, it means that you are his girl friend..
But now, even if you went to a movie with one you still are not his...is the world changing or the people around me changing?
Maybe it's time for me to change too..
there will always be someone around to make your life difficult.
Adults say:' this is liFe, u'll meet moRe later.'
I don't wanna meet fuckiN bitches!
I just wanna be a kid and fool aroUnd.
I looked up to the clouds and they were floating away, just like my cheerful times.
I used to be a very happy kid.
But now I can't be happy when I want to and I have to fake a smile infront of those bitches when all you want to do is cry and punch them hard in the face.
You have to fake that you like them when you really want them to burn and die.
You have to really think before you speak,or someone else might be listening.
You have to do this and that, and everyone's expectation is so damn high.
You start to have loads of fucking pressure on you.
Sometimes you can't be too kind, you'll be used.
But you can't be to cruel, they'll say you're heartless.
I really hate this world!
I really don't know how to handle this fucked up world, all I want is my childhood and those happiness.
All I'm feeling now is just hatred and sadness.
There are happiness but just not enough to cover those hatred and sadness.
All I can do is just to pushed them deep down.
I know everyone has their problems, but I really don't know how long I can hold.
If i can ill try to hold on.
I wish that one day when I wake up, I'll still be sleeping in a baby cot.
And This was actually one long nightmare . I am actually still a new born baby that doesn't know anything about this ugly world.
Just now when I got hit in the head reall hard, I wanted to sliced his fingers one by one and throw them into a bottle of sulphur lock him up in a box but leave his head up to see the mice slowly chewing his intestine and body and let his blood drip out.
But all I could do is just to sweep everything to the floor.
I can't do anything but to just forgive and forget.
All I can do is just to bottle up loads and loads of hatred and sadness and angryness.
People say if you keep it in for too long you'll get problems, but if I let it all out Ill get problems now.

Friday, July 12, 2013

复杂化

世界很复杂,
其实复杂的是社会,
社会并不复杂,
复杂的事人,
人其实也不复杂,
是思想复杂。
其实思想并不是复杂,
只是太多种不同的想法。
而我们没有读心术。
到处都有的买这种书,
也是为什么会有心理医生。
有时心理医生也未必了解你。
有时连自己都未必了解自己。

能找到一堆与你同样智障的朋友是很难的。
好朋友是不会批评你的外表的
好朋友是会和你一起批评别人,
在你背后支持你,
而不是在你背后插一把刀的人。

有时你会觉得他们不能体谅你。
你会觉得他们做的东西很笨。
有时当他们不告诉你某些事时,
你会想他们到底是否把你当好朋友
还是只是你自己认为罢了。
有时你甚至会怀疑你有没有交错朋友。

有些事情并不是那么容易说出来的。
有可能怕伤害到你,有可能是不想麻烦你,也有可能不想让你觉得我烦。
就算真的鼓起勇气说出来了,
你能不能接受得到?
你会不会帮我?

可是你想看,
说是朋友,
朋友也有自己的底线,自己的尊严。
朋友也有自己的事情,自己的问题。
有时不说出来也是好事。
可是说出来也有可能是好事。

自己烦就好。
何必烦埋别人?
你以为自己就很忙,很烦。
别人就很得空听你的问题?

看到这里你们别误会
我的朋友有问题我还是一定会帮的!

Sunday, July 07, 2013

HEY BITCH! GUESS WHAT?!

I once hated bitches.
i think that they are cruel and slutty and bitchy
some even a whore!!
there are many kinds of bitch around...
normal usual kind,
slutty whore,
stupid bitch,
brainless bitch,
and the worst kind of bitch in the worst kind of bitch history!!
the smart bitch....

i swore that i wont be a bitch myself!
cause i hated them.
but then i realized that
only you be a bitch or else you'll be the one suffering.
the world changes us,
or people around us changes us,
they make us think more about our-self...
after a while,
i started turning into a heartless bitch.....
you will be one someday...
it's more fun being the bad guy,
even if you get caught in the end.....
if you dont get caught, that means you are good in this game....

you could say i'm irresponsible...
but i hate that word even though its the truth.....
by being a heartless bitch, you wont get broken hearted...
i guess i'm selfish, 
but not everything has a win win situation...
i'd rather i win!
who doesnt want to win??? 

i could only say i'm sorry.
for breaking your heart...
but, time mends everything...
just think about it as you've learnt a valuable lesson from me...
and the price is a broken heart.....
it's a very cheap price for such an expensive course......

in conclusion....
heartless bitch = no heart break
heart broken = a lesson learnt