^^

if you have been following this blog,

you would have realized that this blog is full of negativity.

but yet the name of the blog is called Be Happy.

The reason for not having or seldom having happy post is that,

i'm too busy enjoying the time.

every time when you are facing a difficult moment in your life

you would think to yourself that its not permanent, it'll be over soon.

and how do you want it to be over?

my way is to write a post and then forget about it.

either i'll come up with a way to solve it or it can solved itself.

but either way it ends after i write a post.

So when i'm having a good time,

i will think about the same thing too.

that it is temporary, its not gonna last long.

therefore i am gonna enjoy it to the max 

instead of writing a post about why the fuck i'm happy.

it seems like the same thing is gonna happen,

like the moment i write a post about why i'm happy,

the happiness is not gonna last.

but if you are the person who made me happy,

you will know it when you see me 

and you don't have to read about it in the post.

so, can you see that i'm happy?

stab me with a lollipop

does it make a difference getting stabbed by a lollipop compared to a knife?

most probably no. cause it is still gonna hurt. 

but the difference is it's gonna look stupid on your death certificate under the column reason of death

"stabbed by lollipop"

well there's also another difference is that when you get stabbed it seems sweet but on the other hand it still hurts like a motherfucker. 

what ever you do, never stab yourself with a lollipop.

and don't stab others with lollipop also.

All through my life, i'd rather be the one holding the knife rather than the one holding the shield. 

its better that way, so that no one is gonna hurt you.

and at any day i would have gladly stabbed that knife at anyone, not from behind cause that is a bitch move, and i only do that if i have to.

but i would have never thought that this day would come, where i'd point the sharp end at myself.

but luckily someone switched the knife to a god damn lollipop.

so it would have a sweeter touch to it. 

just fckin kill me.

untitled

is it possible that i have a phobia of happiness?

it would be such ironic that my name is Joy and I have cherophobia.

why is it so hard to believe that it is real?

probably its all inside me.

there is a feeling that when something is going the way i want or when something good is happening surely something bad is just waiting to fuck things up. 

it is a cycle. when you feel that it is bad you know that it will pass and something good will come eventually.

but it works the same way, when everything is going smoothly, surely something somewhere is gonna just pop up or waiting to screw you.

sometimes do you wonder why in the world are we even here for?

a human is born, 

forced to squeeze information by 'education',

forced to believe there is some greater force controlling us.

forced to learn things called science and skill.

for 12 years we are locked in buildings, 'useful' information shoved into us.

telling us that it will prepare us for the future.

what is the future? 

it is the time where you start to work "putting your useful information into use" in return you will get pieces of papers known as "paychecks" or "money".

all our life, we keep getting papers.

From the moment we start to form a zygote. 

parents will take "photo"

the moment we get pushed out of your mom's vagina.

there will be "birth certificate"

after years of absorbing information.

you get "Phd certificate" 

you work for a year then you get "paycheck"

then you find a partner to share that paper

and when you do, you get a another piece of paper " marriage certificate"

then until you are sick, old and die 

there's "death certificate"

all our life we keep getting certificate to acknowledge what we do.

what for?

even when we die, we are still collecting papers.

so why are we even here in the first place?

it is a cycle. since our ancestor.

are we here for a reason?

what is the reason?