I Hope 2

I hope that it doesn't end just now.

before dad bought me this computer and installed wireless,

i used to write diaries.

Just now i tried to write to my diary the things that had happened.

i wrote half in my diary,

but eventually it smeared because of my tears.

i can't hold back my tears.

i felt bad.

i thought bout the way i just acted..

and the salty tears came, and blurred my vision.

until i wrote crookedly. and it became untidy..

i tried to hold back my tears but it can't be held back..

eventually it came pouring down.

i didn't cried infront of people.

but during the camp. i was juz cryin to suit every one else.

i want them to know me as the happy,cheerfull girl.

not the depress one.

it felt good to cry.

but i felt like a baby.

so  i stop writing my diary and threw it out of the window.

then i thought of using the computer.

because i can't cry.

if i cried while using the computer, it would break.

then my dad would be furious.

so i dried my tears and started typing.

this is the second time i wrote the blog today.

i don't know why.

but then i am still crying.

i was listening to a few sad song.

but i think that the singer sang to her love.

but it was mostly the same.

for once i really paid attention to the lyrics.

it was meaningful to me.

that's why it's making me so emotional.

something has totally gone wrong to me.

i notice that i haven been crying for a long time.

feels good to cry.

i hope that my friend would still accept me.

i know that i have a bad temper.

i am still tryin.

tryin.

it took 2 whole box of tissue to dried my endless splash of tears.

i cried in the dark.

while writing my diary, i only lit the table lamp.

i let the darkness surround me..

i felt more comfortable cryin in the dark.

and i didn't want anyone to know that i was crying.

now i'm quite ok.

i think.

i thought that it was the meanest thing i could do to a friend...

i hope that they will accept my apology.

i dare not apologise infront of them.

so here:

to my frens: jy,yy,cass......and so on..

i'm sincerely sorry..for what i have said or done to hurt u all.

maybe tomorrow morning i'll have to climb out of the window to get my diary back...

i hope that my dad doesn't realise i'm still awake at the time of the day..

it's 2:24 now i better get to sleep.

i must remember to take my medication 1st..

thanks to my friend...